Februari 18, 2013

Cerpen Politik : Satu Hari Nanti Di Parlimen Malaysia Harapnya

Satu hari di persidangan Parlimen Malaysia....

"This is one of the most advance traffic offender catcher in the world and I am sure the government of Malaysia will find the system is really efficient on cutting down the numbers of accident," kata George Richards, pegawai kepada Zoloco System, sebuah syarikat teknologi dari Amerika.

"I would like you to brief us how much cost it will affect us?" tanya Anwar Ibrahim dengan slang Penangnya. Nik Aziz yang berada tidak jauh darinya mengangguk.

"Dia buat lagi...ni mesti nak komplen kos tinggi, jangan membazir.." Najib Razak berbisik dalam hati.

"We have been given the estimates of what your country requirement,the total shouldn't exceed somewhere in the range of RM350 million or 110 USD," jawab George.

"Puiiihh mahalnya!" Sergah Senator Zulkifli Nordin. "Tapi berbaloi!"

Penterjemah menterjemahkan ayat yang disebut Zulkifli Nordin itu kepada George. George tersenyum. "I can guarantee you that this is the most state of the art system and if the Malaysian government agreed on using our technology here, your country will be the third country using it."

"Huiyoo..terbaiklah!" jerit seseorang.

"Country which first use it?" tanya Hishamuddin Hussein dengan English berterabur.

"Us,meaning USA and France," jawab George.

"Let me give you some statistics on how well it works on our major cities. Accidents number fall down 67%, death numbers drops to an amazing 76%. The statistics also pointed out that because of the implementation of our G-Driver system, the road user are more incline to follow the traffic regulations better, the numbers of driver who break the speed limit drop to an astonishing 85% last year."

"Hu...terbaik...." Bergegar MP-MP Barisan Nasional menepuk meja menyokong kerana mahu menjadi negara ketiga dunia menggunakan sistem tersebut.

"I am sure that the people in your country have brought up an issue with the system," Anwar Ibrahim bangun dari kerusinya. "I refer to an article in the New York Times on how the way the system is concealed and how it cause an uproar among the citizens," tanya Anwar Ibrahim. "What is the solution that Zoloco have applied to solve the issue?"

George Richards mengangguk tanda setuju. " Let me explain first to all who don't really know the issue well. Because of the miniature and compact size of the camera tracking system installed, most driver are not given any kind of early warning as to where the system is installed. This has been a very big issue for us to solve, but luckily we did," jawab George.

"What is the step taken?" tanya Najib Razak tapi dalam hatinya hanya memikirkan mengenai isteri tercinta.

" We implement a warning sign and a warning light around half a mile before the camera location to warn the drivers about the measured area. Statistically, on the half mile before the control area is reach, 54% of the driver is already starting to slow their car down," jawab George.

"Kalau macam tu, macam mana nak saman nanti?" Satu Parlimen bergegar dengan ketawa daripada lawak yang tidak tahu dari mana datangnya. Najib menyandarkan badannya ke kerusi empuk. Dia menghelakan nafas.

"It is a good system there, I felt we should implement it here, especially in Permatang Pauh where the death numbers are incredibly high!" jerit Ibrahim Ali. Anwar Ibrahim hanya senyum mendengarnya. Meja diketuk beramai2 menggesa Anwar Ibrahim memberikan respon.

Najib Razak pun bangun, "Mr.George, I would like to say thank you for the presentation. I, wholeheatedly agree that the G-Driver system is a vast improvement over our current AES system and it is cheaper to maintain in the long run. This will be a very good co-operation between Zoloco and the Malaysian government to protect the lives of our nations people.My biggest concern is how long we need from start to finish?"

George sengih besar kerana jerat dah mengena."After the MOU between us is agreed upon, I predict the installation on your whole country should take around an estimates of 6 month to a whole year."

"SATU! MALAYSIA! SATUUUUU! MALAYSIA!" Jerit Ahli-Ahli Parlimen dibahagian Barisan Nasional. Najib sengih sambil mengangkat jari menunjukkan simbol satu.

" Sorry Mr.George, but I will address the Parliament in Malay for a while.." kata Anwar Ibrahim sambil bangun melihat sekeliling. Senyap jadinya dewan Parlimen.

"Ni yang hangpa sibuk2 ni pasaipa? Hangpa tu pembangkang! Tapi sebab pembangkang suka saya pun suka la.... " Anwar Ibrahim sengih memanjang. "Tapi..." Anwar Ibrahim merenung sekeliling memikirkan sesuatu.

"Mr.George..." panggil Anwar. George memandang sambil jarinya menggenggam laser pointer.

".........If the warning sign and the warning light is pretty effective on it's own, we will take the lights and sign first, so we can implement it fast and efficiently without waiting a whole year for it...how much for the budget?" Semua ahli Parlimen gamat menepuk meja.

"Later, we will reassess the requirement whether the warning sign and lights are enough or we really need to install your G-Driver system.Ok ka PM? Setuju?" tanya Anwar pada Perdana Menteri.

Datuk Seri Hadi Awang mengangkat jari menunjukkan isyarat bagus.

"Fuckin third world country!" bisik George dalam hati.

18 ulasan:

Tanpa Nama berkata...

First!

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Bila pas keadilan umno bersatu...

-N-

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Mantot, nak tanya, esei ni hang karang sendiri ka?

-Anwar Ibrahim Ali

Mantot berkata...

aku karang sendiri

Kak Mah berkata...

tot..

bila ko nak buat review pasal wayang lagi?

peminat mantot berkata...

wow begitu tinggi harapan mu kepada anwar. semoga berjaya semua.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Gilek ah..aku tabik spring kat hang.. Good job.

-Anwar Ibrahim Ali

Tanpa Nama berkata...

hadi awang jadi perdana menteri? toksah bermimpi di siang hari la... mana nama karpal singh, lim kit siang, lim guan eng, xkan tak nak sebut langsung...

Tanpa Nama berkata...

indahnye malaysia.. lol
nasionalisma yang tinggi

Annakholat Atastokhdevishizar berkata...

hahaha... bijak bijak

giler cheapskate anwar; amik lampu dgn warning sign je huhuhu..

on the bright side, produk mat saleh tu x semestinya berkesan diguna di malaysia.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Cerita tak lojik. Takkan Ibrahim 'The Katak' Ali masuk parlimen lagi.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Best essay !!

Black Pearl berkata...

bernas gila idea pakai lampu n warning sign je. jimat dan efisyen (kalau pemandu tak tahu yg sebenarnya G-drive system tu takda pun sebenarnya)

SembangKongkang berkata...

terbaik nye parlimen baru ...

najib bertanya sambil memikirkan isteri tercinta...hahaha

Tanpa Nama berkata...

aku x minat ngan anwar tapi serius aku nampak anwar tau selok belok ekonomi dan dia kelihatan yakin bila bentangkan satu satu idea..x macam menteri2 lain bila dia bentangkan idea lepas tu wartawan tanya lebih sikit mula berterabur ..pasal (1. tu bukan idea original dia..2.dia pakai cakap je ,dia x pikir pun pro and contra apa yang dia bentangkan...sebab tu sekarang kau boleh nampak banyak kenyataan menteri setaraf budak darjah 6

naiffe berkata...

KJ mane? Rafizi mesti hadir sebab bab-bab ekonomi mesti dia first. "Lim guan eng, karpal....where gone?" kata si bedebah adnan yakob yang survived bernasib baik masih mengekalkan title menteri besar pahang.

Esei A minus.

My name is Wanita, and this is my story... berkata...

best betul sains fiksyen ni.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

bodo ke ape nak karpal jadi pm...x baca perlembagaan ke